Monday, December 31, 2012
The Empty Pickle Jar
Happy New Year. I have conducted this experiment in front of people. It's a great exercise to think about and revisit periodically. The Empty Pickle Jar
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Example of Coaching
Watched the movie "The Kings Speech" again yesterday. I love that movie which is so well acted by Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. It reminded me of coaching and what I do for a living. Some of my clients are senior leaders in their companies or organizations and they need a safe space to work on change. Good coaching allows the space for coachees to be free and open in their feelings and thoughts without judging or feeling they have to BE someone they are not. Building trust is very important in this relationship. Being in a royal family, in line for the throne and having absolutely no self-confidence must have been so hard to carry around in his being. This commoner came into his life and changd his life, helping him with his stuttering and his self-confidence.
It's hard work at the top for many leaders without having someone around to bounce ideas off of if there is a problem that needs to be resolved by the leader before he/she takes it to the leadership team for implementation. We coaches have our clients "backs". We push them, hold them accountable but more importantly get really curious to why certain things are important or show up in the everyday busyness of business. I like to ask lots of questions and get different perspectives if it's appropriate. Being trained to really listen to what is being said and not said is crucial for successful change to be thought of and implemented.
I am grateful for being able to create long-lasting relationships with former and exisiting clients. Getting to know someone who is open to being vulnerable and willing to roll up their sleeves and work on the good, the bad and the ugly is very gratifying. Especially when I notice the changes occurring which makes the leader a better person which in turn is passed throughout the company.
Watching the relationship evolve between the king and his speech coach was very moving. They built a trusting and close relationship for the rest of their lives. If you haven't seen the movie, you like history and well acted movies (best picture) see it.
It's hard work at the top for many leaders without having someone around to bounce ideas off of if there is a problem that needs to be resolved by the leader before he/she takes it to the leadership team for implementation. We coaches have our clients "backs". We push them, hold them accountable but more importantly get really curious to why certain things are important or show up in the everyday busyness of business. I like to ask lots of questions and get different perspectives if it's appropriate. Being trained to really listen to what is being said and not said is crucial for successful change to be thought of and implemented.
I am grateful for being able to create long-lasting relationships with former and exisiting clients. Getting to know someone who is open to being vulnerable and willing to roll up their sleeves and work on the good, the bad and the ugly is very gratifying. Especially when I notice the changes occurring which makes the leader a better person which in turn is passed throughout the company.
Watching the relationship evolve between the king and his speech coach was very moving. They built a trusting and close relationship for the rest of their lives. If you haven't seen the movie, you like history and well acted movies (best picture) see it.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Goodness of People
What I noticed about people in our society is that when tragedy strikes, people step forward to help. This showed up after Hurricane Sandy disrupted life in NJ and NY and now after the sweet, innocent children and school faculty were mowed down by the mentally unstable young man this past Friday in Newtown, CT.
There is only one funeral home in the community of Newtown, CT. Funeral directors from other cities in CT and NY came forward to help in the massive undertaking of preparing for the burial of the victims. They like many before them, didn't hesitate in offering their services without expecting anything in return. I say this is part of human nature. Compassion, kindness, giving back is really what we are about as humans and it's what gives us the most satisfaction for living a fulfilling life.
Heroes stories get recognized and heard through the media. I think it became more prevalent after September 11th. There will always be troubled people in our society; mother nature recking havoc and unforeseen challenges we have to deal with. But there will always be special people and more and more of them stepping forward to help where they can. Thank you, you are appreciated and I am glad and proud to be an American.
There is only one funeral home in the community of Newtown, CT. Funeral directors from other cities in CT and NY came forward to help in the massive undertaking of preparing for the burial of the victims. They like many before them, didn't hesitate in offering their services without expecting anything in return. I say this is part of human nature. Compassion, kindness, giving back is really what we are about as humans and it's what gives us the most satisfaction for living a fulfilling life.
Heroes stories get recognized and heard through the media. I think it became more prevalent after September 11th. There will always be troubled people in our society; mother nature recking havoc and unforeseen challenges we have to deal with. But there will always be special people and more and more of them stepping forward to help where they can. Thank you, you are appreciated and I am glad and proud to be an American.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Smart People Get Caught Up in Emotions Too
I have been reading some articles on the General Petraeus and Paula Broadwell and the embarrassment and humiliation they are currently dealing with. While this is not an uncommon relationship it is more pronounced because of his position in the CIA and as a high ranking general. This is one of many we have read about over the course of time. Eventually they will be out of the news and hopefully heal some wounds that were created and move on.
What I want to talk about here is the perception by some that highly educated people are perceived as not allowing their emotions get the best of them. I don't care where you went to school, how many degress you earned or what position you hold in our society, we are all humans. Emotions are in our DNA, from the very high levels of Bliss, Happiness, Love to the very low of Hopelessness and Despair. Sometimes events happen, opportunities are ripe to appear and people are caught at just the right moment to act on an emotion that maybe they typically could not dwell in but it happens. Call it vulnerability possibly but it happens more than most people know. When you are caught up in it, you tend to forget everything else around you including people who could get hurt. I believe there is deeper meaning behind what actually is happening that hopefully can be reflected on through personal work or reaching out for help from outside parties such as a coach or therapist. Something has been going on inside the person(s) for awhile and an opportunity shows up that gets acted on. Dealing with the repercussions will define personal character and future happiness. Lessons will be learned, good and bad and life goes on. Many times things turn out as they should on our many paths and chapters in our lives.
God has a plan for all of us and many times it deviates off a normal path. It is how we handle ourselves going forward that counts the most. Taking responsibility, acknowledging weakness, failure, hard lessons but also knowing we are learning about ourselves in the process is what is most important.
What I want to talk about here is the perception by some that highly educated people are perceived as not allowing their emotions get the best of them. I don't care where you went to school, how many degress you earned or what position you hold in our society, we are all humans. Emotions are in our DNA, from the very high levels of Bliss, Happiness, Love to the very low of Hopelessness and Despair. Sometimes events happen, opportunities are ripe to appear and people are caught at just the right moment to act on an emotion that maybe they typically could not dwell in but it happens. Call it vulnerability possibly but it happens more than most people know. When you are caught up in it, you tend to forget everything else around you including people who could get hurt. I believe there is deeper meaning behind what actually is happening that hopefully can be reflected on through personal work or reaching out for help from outside parties such as a coach or therapist. Something has been going on inside the person(s) for awhile and an opportunity shows up that gets acted on. Dealing with the repercussions will define personal character and future happiness. Lessons will be learned, good and bad and life goes on. Many times things turn out as they should on our many paths and chapters in our lives.
God has a plan for all of us and many times it deviates off a normal path. It is how we handle ourselves going forward that counts the most. Taking responsibility, acknowledging weakness, failure, hard lessons but also knowing we are learning about ourselves in the process is what is most important.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Are you Sleeping?
I conducted a workshop this week on the importance of Sleep; part of my focus on corporate wellness programs. Many people tend to discount the importance of having a good nights sleep. Good or bad, it impacts your body and your mind. Some experts say a "good nights sleep" should be eight hours a day. Other experts say it depends on the individual and how they feel when they get up....are you tired? Some people only need five hours while others need closer to nine hours. I need six and one-half hours and once in awhile a power nap of 15 to 20 minutes during the day.
We process through five stages of sleep during the night on average of four times (90-minutes each). During sleep, our body is recycling our thoughts from when we are awake, rejuvenating itself, priming the immune system and restoring our physical body. Our body also has an inner alarm clock that awakens us when we have to go to the bathroom, when we hear noises, when we hear a child cry or when we need to pull up the covers.
Some signs you may need more sleep include difficulty waking up in the mornings; inability to concentrate; falling asleep during work hours; feelings of moodiness, irritabilty or anxiety; impaired memory; simple tasks may prove more difficult to complete and increased difficulties interacting and cooperating with others.
Some things you can do to help you fall asleep are winding down the evening and preparing for bed as a relaxing experience. Keep your bedroom free of clutter; don't use it as a workspace unless it's necessary and if it is, keep your work area neat. It helps to have your room painted in soft muted colors - stay away from bright colors such as red or orange. You want to have a calm space. Take a hot bath or shower; do some stretching exercises or give yourself a foot massage. Read a dull book and if you have to watch TV, watch something funny or light - not a drama or wild adventure. Breathe: take full, deep belly breaths to the slow count of 4. Hold your breath to the count of 7 and exhale to the count of 8 (out of your mouth). Do this four times and then breathe normally again. Practicing this technique a few nights in a row will help you include this in your nightly routine. You might consider putting on some quiet music.
To help maintain more energy during they day you can incorporate these ideas:
We process through five stages of sleep during the night on average of four times (90-minutes each). During sleep, our body is recycling our thoughts from when we are awake, rejuvenating itself, priming the immune system and restoring our physical body. Our body also has an inner alarm clock that awakens us when we have to go to the bathroom, when we hear noises, when we hear a child cry or when we need to pull up the covers.
Some signs you may need more sleep include difficulty waking up in the mornings; inability to concentrate; falling asleep during work hours; feelings of moodiness, irritabilty or anxiety; impaired memory; simple tasks may prove more difficult to complete and increased difficulties interacting and cooperating with others.
Some things you can do to help you fall asleep are winding down the evening and preparing for bed as a relaxing experience. Keep your bedroom free of clutter; don't use it as a workspace unless it's necessary and if it is, keep your work area neat. It helps to have your room painted in soft muted colors - stay away from bright colors such as red or orange. You want to have a calm space. Take a hot bath or shower; do some stretching exercises or give yourself a foot massage. Read a dull book and if you have to watch TV, watch something funny or light - not a drama or wild adventure. Breathe: take full, deep belly breaths to the slow count of 4. Hold your breath to the count of 7 and exhale to the count of 8 (out of your mouth). Do this four times and then breathe normally again. Practicing this technique a few nights in a row will help you include this in your nightly routine. You might consider putting on some quiet music.
To help maintain more energy during they day you can incorporate these ideas:
- Go go bed and get up at the same time every day (even on weekends if you can)
- Get to know your peak energy times and plan your projects and work around these in order to be most productive.
- Take breaks, regularly - walk around and stretch
- Practice deep breathing
- Decrease your intake of caffeine, soda and sugar throughout your day: find healthier substitutes
- Move physically several times throughout your day. If you have a desk job, walk around the office or go outside during your breaks or at the very least, standup and stretch (preferably at least once an hour). Our bodies were not created to sit in a chair all day.
- Decorate your work space with photos, pictures of places you want to visit or have visited; affirmations, fun things to keep you motivated when you start feeling stressed.
- Eat at regular intervals throughout your day and don't eat your lunch at your desk. Choose healthy food. Don't skip lunch, your body will appreciate this.
You will notice a remarkable boost to your energy levels if you practice these tips. Good sleep patterns will help you feel and look younger and your body will thank you.
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