Read in yesterday's Sun Sentinel, an article quoting Connie Glaser, an author and women's leadership expert about working women learning to swim with sharks. She described women as typical "dolphins" and men as "sharks" in characteristics of leading and communicating. She said each gender should be blended into "dolphark" which is really a blend of the great qualities each gender inhibits in leadership and communicating with others.
What that means to me is men are a bit more gutsy in taking risks and making decisions and speaking their minds. Older generations especially tend to take the lead in decision making especially male leaders. Whereas women have always been categorized as being better at the "soft skills" - collaboration, being supportive of others, engaging others and listening. Soft Skills (Emotional Intelligence is another label) has been coming to the forefront recently as having a lot of significance and is being embraced in the workplace as important skills to have when leading others. We are getting more connected globally and younger leadership sees the value in brainstorming to solve problems, allowing others to have a say in the direction of the company, being collaborative in approach to business, etc. "Women tend to be better at fostering cooperation and are less likely to dominate conversations" says Glaser. We are much more likely to listen to hear what others have to say and take that into consideration when decisions need to be made. Studies have shown that the more diverse workplaces are there is a higher level of cooperation and a richer collection of intelligence.
It would benefit us as women to speak up confidently more often in meetings. We tend to be too humble at times and don't pat ourselves on the back enough whereas men have more confidence in who they are and they speak it much more easily. Women can utilize the skills of men in some cases, especially around confidence. Blending of the traits of both species is the best choice. At times it's great to gather consensus from others but there are times when you need to rely on your own resources and make a thoughtful decision on your own. It's very important to always value collaboration and being a good team player but never forget to feel comfortable taking credit for what you have achieved. If you show up as walking the talk, you will gain respect and credibility on your own merits.
It's really important for women to support other women in an organization so if another woman is on the leadership team or is a manager, they need to promote one another and speak up where credit is due and needs to be acknowledged. Men can benefit from learning from women's leadership qualities as well (and some already exemplify this). The days of the "deer slayer" is no longer of value or respected. Feeling comfortable with getting away from gender differences is an important lesson to learn as a leader. Value who the person is and what they bring to the table is much more effective. A good place to start is to have conversations with each other, maybe over lunch, breakfast or coffee, asking questions; listening to each other's stories on the definition of success; where each sees the strengths and challenges inside the company and with each other.
As a coach, facilitating meetings to get out all the good, the bad and the ugly is where laundry can be aired, old thoughts and perceptions can be cleared and new ideas, intentions and discoveries can be defined and implemented together.
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