I was reading in People magazine about the unsung heroes of the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy in NJ and NY. Some people from outside the area packed up their cars, vans, food trucks, and the like and drove to NJ or Staten Island and set up food stations, places for people to get a hot meal. How they felt afterwards was rich in satisfaction and feeling of pride in making a difference. This can be life-changing, taking away a focus from self-gratification and ego to maybe understanding the higher purpose we all have access to. Too many people drift through life, day after day just mentally getting by many times stressed. What a sad way to live. Are you one of them? How satisfied are you with your life? Who you have in it? What you do for a living?
During the holiday season, while you are preparing for family events, being with friends and getting into a spirit of giving, great time to do some reflecting on what's important in your life. What do you cherish the most? What do you long to do? Who haven't you heard from in awhile? Who could you say you appreciate them for something? Who could use your help and guidance? Think about it, I guarantee you will feel better about yourself if you act on this.
After all, we are born to this Earth to give back, the hard part is knowing what that is.....the easy part is doing it. Think about it for awhile and then do something about it.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Jane Handly Childhood Story Movie
Jane Handly Childhood Story Movie: The power of story showing love and courageous.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Are We Getting Too Commercialized?
A picture in our local paper this week made me shake my head. The picture was of a man sitting in a camping chair, reading his paper (on Monday of this week of Thanksgiving) waiting in line for the bargain shopping to begin on Thursday night. I am very much a progressive person, staying ahead of the trends and embracing change but I also like some traditional things as well. One of them is celebrating the holidays one at a time. Our society has been rolling out the celebration of Christmas before Thanksgiving but typically by only a few days. Now it's starts the month of November and even worse, are scenes like the one I described above. We as a country have allowed commercialization to seep through our society, especially through social media and the internet. To me this is pretty scary and somewhat sterile in showing up as Americans.
Yes, we all have choices we can make but doesn't it seem a little too commercial to be worrying about being the first in line for Black Friday (which really is now Thursday night) to grab a bargain vs. getting excited about upcoming family and friends celebrating the day of Thanksgiving. Even if you don't have family and are by yourself, you could invite someone alone over to share a meal or go help serve food to the less fortunate. Some people can't wait to start decorating for Christmas. Even in the condo building I live in, the Christmas tree is already in the lobby being readied for decorations and it's only November 20th.
All I can do is allow people to be who they are and think what they think and be OK with that. I know I am looking forward to simply spending some quality time with dear friends, enjoying home cooked food, some wine and some laughs.
As parents and grandparents, it's part of our purpose to instill values and life experiences on our children so they understand the importance of some traditions. Great to shop for bargains, decorate, prepare for Christmas but why not wait until after the day of being grateful of our country being formed.
Yes, we all have choices we can make but doesn't it seem a little too commercial to be worrying about being the first in line for Black Friday (which really is now Thursday night) to grab a bargain vs. getting excited about upcoming family and friends celebrating the day of Thanksgiving. Even if you don't have family and are by yourself, you could invite someone alone over to share a meal or go help serve food to the less fortunate. Some people can't wait to start decorating for Christmas. Even in the condo building I live in, the Christmas tree is already in the lobby being readied for decorations and it's only November 20th.
All I can do is allow people to be who they are and think what they think and be OK with that. I know I am looking forward to simply spending some quality time with dear friends, enjoying home cooked food, some wine and some laughs.
As parents and grandparents, it's part of our purpose to instill values and life experiences on our children so they understand the importance of some traditions. Great to shop for bargains, decorate, prepare for Christmas but why not wait until after the day of being grateful of our country being formed.
Friday, November 16, 2012
The Power of Virtual Sales That Engage People
I sat in on a webinar this week facilitated by Brian Crowley with WhatWorks. Not only was he engaging and interesting but he helped me see the value in the importance of embracing technology in meetings. I am a big advocate of face to face meetings and building relationships and have been resistant to trying to incorporate virtual meetings into my coaching practice. After the one hour presentation, I am a believer that it's a viable tool if done correctly. Correctly is key. I sat in on another webinar this week that went on for 90-minutes of continuous talking by the presenter. She became hoarse at the end and did ask for questions. But it was very boring and I got very restless from the experience and caught myself wanting to look at my emails and getting up to do something else.
In order to keep people's interest and attention, you have to involve them when conducting an online presentation. People typically stayed engaged for eight seconds, that is not very long. GoToMeeting is a great web site for conducting online meetings. There are spaces for asking questions and raising your hand. Most important part of presenting is to make sure your PowerPoint presentation is clean, includes lots of pictures, only a few words per page (not a bunch of text per page) and really use it more as a guide. While presenting, include interesting stories that people can relate to.
Brian started out by asking people to write in what their greatest challenges were in presenting on-line and one thing of value they would like to get from the presentation. I ask these questions when I facilitate meetings. This gives you the ability to understand what people want and how they feel. At the end of the presentation, I always go back to what was requested and see if they were mentioned. He also said you need to interact with you audience every eight minutes, again so they stay with you. Before you present, key to do your homework on what you are talking about. If you are presenting to a client, learn about them beforehand by going to their web site, understanding their needs, hopefully talking to them on the phone or in a meeting so you can ask lots of questions about their business before you do this presentation. You can then incorporate the answers to their questions and your features and benefits.
Online presentations should typically not be any longer than one-hour, factoring in 15-minutes for questions and comments. You should share with your audience a clear objective of your presentation and what your goals are for conducting your presentation. You should also be clear on who you want your audience to be, what their roles are and know how many are in attendance. I agree with Brian in that don't start with the Agenda. Have a grabber, a quote, a short story or share a challenge that people on the call can relate to. Include a credibility statement or testimonial, your objectives and the benefit to the audience and then the agenda of your time together. Have some great pictures in your presentation which you can get from Google Images or for a small fee www.istockphoto.com. If you have an interesting story of you, include it. Live video is becoming more common to add, graphics and statistics and colors as well. Your audience is going to be made up of people who like data, people who like story, pictures and colors and people who just like simple bullet points so you want to make your presentation applicable to each type of personality. If you are including video of yourself, have a white background and dress professionally, looking at the camera lens NOT at yourself on screen.
Most importantly is asking questions or ask for comments sprinkled throughout your presentation and stop and go through these (allow a few minutes of presentation for this). If your audience is large, then respond to common questions being asked or something really unique that is relevant. Obviously manage this time. At the end make sure you include your credits, review back what some key points were talked about including what people requested to learn, go over any "next steps" and ask for any final questions.
Check out the resources I mentioned above and seriously consider the value of presenting virtually. My next step is to start using this valuable tool for presenting and to start playing around with video.
In order to keep people's interest and attention, you have to involve them when conducting an online presentation. People typically stayed engaged for eight seconds, that is not very long. GoToMeeting is a great web site for conducting online meetings. There are spaces for asking questions and raising your hand. Most important part of presenting is to make sure your PowerPoint presentation is clean, includes lots of pictures, only a few words per page (not a bunch of text per page) and really use it more as a guide. While presenting, include interesting stories that people can relate to.
Brian started out by asking people to write in what their greatest challenges were in presenting on-line and one thing of value they would like to get from the presentation. I ask these questions when I facilitate meetings. This gives you the ability to understand what people want and how they feel. At the end of the presentation, I always go back to what was requested and see if they were mentioned. He also said you need to interact with you audience every eight minutes, again so they stay with you. Before you present, key to do your homework on what you are talking about. If you are presenting to a client, learn about them beforehand by going to their web site, understanding their needs, hopefully talking to them on the phone or in a meeting so you can ask lots of questions about their business before you do this presentation. You can then incorporate the answers to their questions and your features and benefits.
Online presentations should typically not be any longer than one-hour, factoring in 15-minutes for questions and comments. You should share with your audience a clear objective of your presentation and what your goals are for conducting your presentation. You should also be clear on who you want your audience to be, what their roles are and know how many are in attendance. I agree with Brian in that don't start with the Agenda. Have a grabber, a quote, a short story or share a challenge that people on the call can relate to. Include a credibility statement or testimonial, your objectives and the benefit to the audience and then the agenda of your time together. Have some great pictures in your presentation which you can get from Google Images or for a small fee www.istockphoto.com. If you have an interesting story of you, include it. Live video is becoming more common to add, graphics and statistics and colors as well. Your audience is going to be made up of people who like data, people who like story, pictures and colors and people who just like simple bullet points so you want to make your presentation applicable to each type of personality. If you are including video of yourself, have a white background and dress professionally, looking at the camera lens NOT at yourself on screen.
Most importantly is asking questions or ask for comments sprinkled throughout your presentation and stop and go through these (allow a few minutes of presentation for this). If your audience is large, then respond to common questions being asked or something really unique that is relevant. Obviously manage this time. At the end make sure you include your credits, review back what some key points were talked about including what people requested to learn, go over any "next steps" and ask for any final questions.
Check out the resources I mentioned above and seriously consider the value of presenting virtually. My next step is to start using this valuable tool for presenting and to start playing around with video.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Importance of Corporate Wellness Programs
Part of my practice includes facilitating corporate wellness workshops inside of companies for employees and managers, leaders rarely take the time to do this unfortunately. The number one hot topic is Stress Management followed by Work/Life Balance. These are big deals for employees who recognize that they are stressed especially if a lot of changes are occurring inside of the companies. They want to be able to manage this better including healthier life styles choices. I have done some workshops on Worry and Anxiety, Resilience, Self-Esteem which are in the same category as Stress.
I always ask the participants to share with me what they would like to get out of our meeting and what the key drivers are? At the end of our time together, I circle back to these as they are important to people and need to be woven into what is being presented and discussed. It all goes back to better managing what's not working and learning new things to manage going forward.
Breathing, visualizing, mindful thinking (being in the present moment), stretching are instant practices that can help change the current mindset. So if someone is in a stressful environment, overhearing a stressful conversation or are in that conversation, they can take a minute to breathe, maybe get up and leave their chair, take a few seconds before they respond or speak so they feel a bit more in control of their emotions. This is a simple and helpful practice to learn to develop.
One practice that people want more control over is leaving work at the office and not taking home
to their love ones the worry, stress and anxiety they feel. I have them think of a way to put a boundary around this. Play some soft music in the car, take some deep breaths before they go in the door, mentally tell themselves that they have left the junk at the office. One person liked screaming while alone, where no one could hear her. One person created a "hugging tree" in their yard. They hug the tree before they go in the house, leaving all the baggage outside. Really important to create a practice that works for you on controlling and managing your stress, worry or anxiety.
Having a support partner is very helpful in managing stress - someone who is your soft place to land. Someone who will listen and not offer advice unless you want it. Eating balanced diets, adding exercise to your daily routine (even if it's taking a walk at the beginning or ending of your day is important); getting enough sleep every night are just as important. Learning how to say No to things is really helpful. There is an exercise I give people on this. Men are better at doing this than women.
There are many tools and practices that people can learn to embrace so that they make better choices in their lives. Being in worry, anxiety and stress are just not healthy. We all have our moments with this but it's being able to manage how long we stay there is what is key to change.If you can't break free from these negative feelings and emotions, may want to consider getting some mental health counseling. Coaching is for healthy minds so we are a resource to get better at managing stress and work/life balance, etc. If someone is depressed, they need to seek out mental health professionals who are trained to deal with depression.
I always ask the participants to share with me what they would like to get out of our meeting and what the key drivers are? At the end of our time together, I circle back to these as they are important to people and need to be woven into what is being presented and discussed. It all goes back to better managing what's not working and learning new things to manage going forward.
Breathing, visualizing, mindful thinking (being in the present moment), stretching are instant practices that can help change the current mindset. So if someone is in a stressful environment, overhearing a stressful conversation or are in that conversation, they can take a minute to breathe, maybe get up and leave their chair, take a few seconds before they respond or speak so they feel a bit more in control of their emotions. This is a simple and helpful practice to learn to develop.
One practice that people want more control over is leaving work at the office and not taking home
to their love ones the worry, stress and anxiety they feel. I have them think of a way to put a boundary around this. Play some soft music in the car, take some deep breaths before they go in the door, mentally tell themselves that they have left the junk at the office. One person liked screaming while alone, where no one could hear her. One person created a "hugging tree" in their yard. They hug the tree before they go in the house, leaving all the baggage outside. Really important to create a practice that works for you on controlling and managing your stress, worry or anxiety.
Having a support partner is very helpful in managing stress - someone who is your soft place to land. Someone who will listen and not offer advice unless you want it. Eating balanced diets, adding exercise to your daily routine (even if it's taking a walk at the beginning or ending of your day is important); getting enough sleep every night are just as important. Learning how to say No to things is really helpful. There is an exercise I give people on this. Men are better at doing this than women.
There are many tools and practices that people can learn to embrace so that they make better choices in their lives. Being in worry, anxiety and stress are just not healthy. We all have our moments with this but it's being able to manage how long we stay there is what is key to change.If you can't break free from these negative feelings and emotions, may want to consider getting some mental health counseling. Coaching is for healthy minds so we are a resource to get better at managing stress and work/life balance, etc. If someone is depressed, they need to seek out mental health professionals who are trained to deal with depression.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Women of Tomorrow helps students find their inner voice
This nonprofit has been in my life for seven years. Please read this article from our local newspaper on the value and significance of making a difference in young women's lives.
Women of Tomorrow helps students find their inner voice
Women of Tomorrow helps students find their inner voice
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Understanding Professional Coaching
Webster's dictionary defines life coaching as "an advisor who helps people make decisions, set their goals or deal with problems." For the sake of this article I am chaning life coaching to professional coaching.
I am trained as a life coach but I choose to focus on executive/leadership/team coaching in the business arena. Much more effective to have my life coaching training when working with business people as it allows for the essence of the peron to show up which impacts the best change that is desired. All great leaders of people lead from their heart and care about others first and then do what needs to be done to be successful with processes, procedures, etc.
The word I have a problem in this incorrect definition is "advisor" as we are NOT advisors - leave that to consultatnts. Professionally trained coaches rarely, if ever, play the role of advisor. It is a valuable role but it's not the role of professional coaches.
Mentors give advice. Consultants give advice. Teachers and experts in all fields give advice. Not professional coaches. Why not? These others experts, mentors, consultants, educators are characterized by a knowledge differential. As the ICF says, "the knowledge of one person is desired by another; so the one who has it offers advice to the one who desires it." Mentor to apprentice; teacher to student; master to novice; physician to patient; athletic coach to player; consultant to business owners or leader. In each of these examples, the one desiring growth for example seeks advice from the one with the expertise. This can bring wisdom and success as these advisors work from the outside-in. Professional coaches do exactly the opposite; they work from the inside-out. The knowledge comes from the person(s). The coach doesn't have the knowledge the client is seeking, they know the client has the knowledge within them or within the team and it comes out through coaching. The clients each have unique life paths, experiences, education, culture, etc. which isn't offered from the coach. Deeper meaning and more impactful change is allowed to evolve. Great quote on this "the purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."
The coach draws out the purpose, the vision, the strengths, talents and meaning behind what needs or wants to change. Coaches question, being genuinely curious about what may be discovered, we question and we listen and then we question again. Coaches are the experts on questioning, listening, probing, prodding and then reflecting, clarifying, reframing and challenging. Think about detectives arriving on a crime scene.They arrive on the scene and ask questions, probe, search, look for clues until finally something of importance shows up or is discovered and they can start working on solving the case. We coaches approach our clients like detectives seeking to discover what really is going on and what the importance of the requested change is. We guide our clients in this process, help them create action plans and accountability processes.
I hope this information gave you some clarity of the difference between coaching and advising.
I am trained as a life coach but I choose to focus on executive/leadership/team coaching in the business arena. Much more effective to have my life coaching training when working with business people as it allows for the essence of the peron to show up which impacts the best change that is desired. All great leaders of people lead from their heart and care about others first and then do what needs to be done to be successful with processes, procedures, etc.
The word I have a problem in this incorrect definition is "advisor" as we are NOT advisors - leave that to consultatnts. Professionally trained coaches rarely, if ever, play the role of advisor. It is a valuable role but it's not the role of professional coaches.
Mentors give advice. Consultants give advice. Teachers and experts in all fields give advice. Not professional coaches. Why not? These others experts, mentors, consultants, educators are characterized by a knowledge differential. As the ICF says, "the knowledge of one person is desired by another; so the one who has it offers advice to the one who desires it." Mentor to apprentice; teacher to student; master to novice; physician to patient; athletic coach to player; consultant to business owners or leader. In each of these examples, the one desiring growth for example seeks advice from the one with the expertise. This can bring wisdom and success as these advisors work from the outside-in. Professional coaches do exactly the opposite; they work from the inside-out. The knowledge comes from the person(s). The coach doesn't have the knowledge the client is seeking, they know the client has the knowledge within them or within the team and it comes out through coaching. The clients each have unique life paths, experiences, education, culture, etc. which isn't offered from the coach. Deeper meaning and more impactful change is allowed to evolve. Great quote on this "the purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."
The coach draws out the purpose, the vision, the strengths, talents and meaning behind what needs or wants to change. Coaches question, being genuinely curious about what may be discovered, we question and we listen and then we question again. Coaches are the experts on questioning, listening, probing, prodding and then reflecting, clarifying, reframing and challenging. Think about detectives arriving on a crime scene.They arrive on the scene and ask questions, probe, search, look for clues until finally something of importance shows up or is discovered and they can start working on solving the case. We coaches approach our clients like detectives seeking to discover what really is going on and what the importance of the requested change is. We guide our clients in this process, help them create action plans and accountability processes.
I hope this information gave you some clarity of the difference between coaching and advising.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
More Coaching Scenarios
Here is another coaching example......
Small business owner eeking out a decent living and loving what he does. Gets approached by someone who would like to partner with this owner and start a new venue combining forces with the idea that they can do great things together.
Owner contacts a coach he knows to share the conversations he has had with this could be partner. Owner decides to hire coach to help him sort out his feelings, concerns, beliefs, vision before he has the next conversation with the would-be partner. Owner and coach create their relationship (we call this designing the alliance in the CTI world) around accountability, expectations, etc. Coach asks some thought provoking questions to have owner think about what his vision is, what he likes about this offer and more importantly, the person. Also questions on what challenges he sees could happen and fears he may have. This is all mapped out on flip charts for further contemplation by owner. After this in-depth conversation the owner feels he knows what his next steps will be and has committed to the coach that he will follow up with coach on a certain date to share the results of his actions.
This was a brainstorming session which I do often typically for two hours. These type of clients contact me for additional coaching on new opportunities, new challenges that have come up, etc. Typically the owner will see the value of the coaching experience and if he feels that the partnership is full of potenital will have a conversation with his new partner to be about having a coaching session with the two of them and the coach to get really clear on roles, expectations, vision, dream, challenges, fears, communication, etc. At this stage, coaching is with the partners - not with one person and the partners. Clarity of this role as coach has to be discussed and a new alliance is desgined. Very effective work.
Small business owner eeking out a decent living and loving what he does. Gets approached by someone who would like to partner with this owner and start a new venue combining forces with the idea that they can do great things together.
Owner contacts a coach he knows to share the conversations he has had with this could be partner. Owner decides to hire coach to help him sort out his feelings, concerns, beliefs, vision before he has the next conversation with the would-be partner. Owner and coach create their relationship (we call this designing the alliance in the CTI world) around accountability, expectations, etc. Coach asks some thought provoking questions to have owner think about what his vision is, what he likes about this offer and more importantly, the person. Also questions on what challenges he sees could happen and fears he may have. This is all mapped out on flip charts for further contemplation by owner. After this in-depth conversation the owner feels he knows what his next steps will be and has committed to the coach that he will follow up with coach on a certain date to share the results of his actions.
This was a brainstorming session which I do often typically for two hours. These type of clients contact me for additional coaching on new opportunities, new challenges that have come up, etc. Typically the owner will see the value of the coaching experience and if he feels that the partnership is full of potenital will have a conversation with his new partner to be about having a coaching session with the two of them and the coach to get really clear on roles, expectations, vision, dream, challenges, fears, communication, etc. At this stage, coaching is with the partners - not with one person and the partners. Clarity of this role as coach has to be discussed and a new alliance is desgined. Very effective work.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Coaching Example
As I continue down the path of describing coaching through real-life situations, my goal is to bring clarity to the coaching space for people reading my posts - to see the value of hiring a coach.
A few of my clients are sales managers who manage people and profitability in the demographics they are responsible for. One of their focuses is to not only motivate their people to increase profitability but to build strong relationships with their teams and develop leaders in the process. The biggest challenge most sales managers have is around the very crucial skill of good communication and clear expectations. Personality types play prominently in relationships: introvert, extrovert, thinkers, feelers, profile identifyers, etc. Also factored in are life experiences, education, training, how you were raised, etc. This is important information to understand how the client communicates, what challenges they have in communicating with others and especially leading others. A question I ask is "if I met xxxxx, what would they say about your leadership style?" I encourage them to sit down with their direct reports and get really clear on what each other expects in their relationship and talk about it.
The soft skills focus is my passion and so I really get to know my clients by discovering how they think, feel, what they want their relationships to look like with the people reporting to them and the interaction and relationships they have with their managers and with others. We explore different perspectives and options they have and figure out what they want to do differently through tools, actions and accountability and create their plan. Sometimes during the relationship, we deviate off of the plan and change direction, coaching gives them the ability to do this if something isn't working or if a new idea shows up.
During the coaching, the agenda is always the clients. It's not my place to bring in my suggestions or ideas without their permission. Whatever day to day issue that shows up typically has a higher meaning and we really focus on what that is and how it's impacting the client. This is really important.
Because I have a sales management background, I really enjoy coaching sales people and push them out of their comfort zone to think of new ways of being and doing. The success factor is so much higher for people who hire good coaches because they can work on their own aspirations and vision as well as creating excellent teams.
A few of my clients are sales managers who manage people and profitability in the demographics they are responsible for. One of their focuses is to not only motivate their people to increase profitability but to build strong relationships with their teams and develop leaders in the process. The biggest challenge most sales managers have is around the very crucial skill of good communication and clear expectations. Personality types play prominently in relationships: introvert, extrovert, thinkers, feelers, profile identifyers, etc. Also factored in are life experiences, education, training, how you were raised, etc. This is important information to understand how the client communicates, what challenges they have in communicating with others and especially leading others. A question I ask is "if I met xxxxx, what would they say about your leadership style?" I encourage them to sit down with their direct reports and get really clear on what each other expects in their relationship and talk about it.
The soft skills focus is my passion and so I really get to know my clients by discovering how they think, feel, what they want their relationships to look like with the people reporting to them and the interaction and relationships they have with their managers and with others. We explore different perspectives and options they have and figure out what they want to do differently through tools, actions and accountability and create their plan. Sometimes during the relationship, we deviate off of the plan and change direction, coaching gives them the ability to do this if something isn't working or if a new idea shows up.
During the coaching, the agenda is always the clients. It's not my place to bring in my suggestions or ideas without their permission. Whatever day to day issue that shows up typically has a higher meaning and we really focus on what that is and how it's impacting the client. This is really important.
Because I have a sales management background, I really enjoy coaching sales people and push them out of their comfort zone to think of new ways of being and doing. The success factor is so much higher for people who hire good coaches because they can work on their own aspirations and vision as well as creating excellent teams.
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