How do you engage someone at a networking event or set up a meeting with someone who could potentially be a referral source or better yet, a client? I have been really noticing (without judging) how people engage me in conversation with we meet and I find many think they have to tell you everything about themselves and their company.
In a networking scenario, I never ask "what do you do?" I think it is so cliche', instead I ask the person what they like about the group, what was their reason for attending the event, how long have they lived in Florida, etc. Eventually the job/company comes into the conversation but it's much more embedded in normal dialog which creates some trust and casualness to our conversation. Not everyone is interested in conversation unless they are with people they know or they simply aren't conversationalists and I am OK with this and move on.
When I meet with someone over lunch or coffee my first questions are - "how much time to you have?" and "what would benefit you from our meeting today?" If I set up the meeting, I'll start asking questions about them, their business including what they like about the company and what are their challenges? Halfway through our meeting and I have enough information, I'll ask them if they have any questions for me and they typically will ask about what I do, etc.. If they don't...time to move on and end the meeting, graciously. If I feel there is an alignment between us, I'll think of referrals or introductions and tell them what good referrals would be for me and we figure out what our next step is going to be.
Lesson here: We don't listen enough to others - there is a gift in this skill and people appreciate being heard.
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